Change

I am starting a new job tomorrow.  It scares me.  A lot.  I have been with the same company for four years now - the longest I have ever stayed at a job.

Many changes have happened over the years at my job.  My boss was laid off.  Our company was bought out by a giant corporation.  Laws and rules became more strict. Our company started requiring that we take days off without pay (or by using our vacation time).

The market has slowly declined in that time.  Since my job is rather directly tied to real estate, it has affected me a lot, and business has slowed.  The company has generally provided a marketer to help us grow our business, but as budgets got tight, we were left without.  I haven't gotten business from new clients for many months.

I was contacted by some great people at a competing company hoping to steal me away to grow their business in my area.  I really didn't want to leave my friends and coworkers.  I've gotten to know almost everyone in the company and they are all wonderful people.  However, I felt like I was not been given the help I needed to grow, and if things were stagnant, soon there would be nothing left at all.

I feel blessed because people have recruited me for the last three jobs I have had.  It makes me feel like people value me and my skills.  I do try to do the best I can with what I have been given, especially because all I have is a high school education, though I hope to change that in the future.

I have enjoyed talking to the people at my new company because they are so positive and energetic.  I hope that it is what I need to start loving my job again, instead of just trying to make it through.

I hope that this was the right decision; that it will lead me to the future I want to make.  I am constantly worried about our future.  How can we start a family when so much is uncertain?  Have we wasted the last eight years of our lives?  Should we sell everything and start over?  Is that even possible?

I hope I can find the answers soon.